Unmask Me
by IsaDoraKnight
Summary: It only took one kiss...
1. Ch 1 Intoxicated

_I was drunk… I was only drunk. That kiss meant nothing. I was only severely under the influence when I did that to him, Casey McDonald._

I kept telling myself that as I sat on the bathroom floor, fiddling with my hands out of nervousness. I had just kissed the bane of my existence, the one person I hated the most… And I liked it.

Why did I he have to throw that stupid party in the first place, damn it! I should have stopped it right when I saw the first group of people entering my living room. But no, I was just so tired of being the goody two shoes who could never have any fun. I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to show him that I can be cool if I wanted to be. I completely lost it last night…

_I was on top of the kitchen table, swaying my hips from side to side in a way that made me feel completely alive and wild. Random people clapped their hands and cheered me on while they gathered around me. I was intoxicated. Not just from the beers I had drank… But also from the music that was blasting throughout the entire house. It was some type of dance music, you know, the kind where it makes you want to get up off of your feet and move. _

_Suddenly a very familiar face appeared into the crowd, his expression showing that he was both mesmerized and at the same time astonished by my behavior. I looked at the young man and smiled sloppily. He furrowed his eyebrows at me and dropped the drink he holding. _

_"Heeey, Derek!" I exclaimed while trying to keep my balance. _

_Derek looked in all different kinds of directions before he walked over to the table, pushing people out of his way as he did so._

_"Casey! What in the world are you doing!" He shouted while staring up at me._

_I twirled around and threw my hands over my head before I slurred out, "Iam' daancing siillee!"_

_"I know your dancing! I want to know why you are acting like this!" He bellowed._

_I giggled loudly and theatrically, "Deerek, I'm just having a little fun! Lighten up and have a drink!" I said and slowly bent down to grab a empty beer bottle that was on the table, I then handed the alcoholic beverage to Derek._

_He took the bottle and threw it across the room, making it shatter and all over the living room carpet. "I can't believe you would do something like this! Why would you do something like this?!"_

_"I toold ya' I could bee coool if I waaanteed to bee!" I shouted in a sing song voice._

_Derek put his hands to his face and let out a aggravated sigh. I was making him go crazy but at the time I didn't realize it. Sadly, the alcohol was really controlling me._

_Without any kind of warning, I jumped off of the table, almost knocking Derek to the ground. _

_I put my hands on both of his shoulders and leaned my head into his neck, making him shiver and pull away. _

_"I don't even know where to begin," Derek said while staring into my red rimmed eyes. "How… How much--" _

_I interrupted him by putting by fingers on lips and resting my forehead on his, "I had thre-- three be- beers, Der-Bear." _

_Noticing how close I was to him, Derek gently backed away and folded his arms across his chest, not even giving me eye contact now. Being completely out of it, I smiled and took him by the collar, pulling him back towards my face. _

_"Casey, what the hell is your--"_

_Instead of interrupting him by putting my finger on his lips, I did something a little bit more risky… I crashed my lips onto his. Derek eyes stayed open, wider then ever before, I could feel him grower weaker as I deepened the kiss, my hands running through his hair and traveling down his neck. _

_After what seemed like forever, Derek broke the kiss. Even though I was in a haze and my mind was completely somewhere else, I could see the look of turmoil and astonishment on his face. For a small second I was Casey again. For a second I was thinking rationally. For a second I was regretting what I did… I was ashamed… Ashamed that I enjoyed that damn kiss._

_"I-- I…" Derek struggled for words. "I should have never thrown this party." He then left me to my drunken thoughts and dashed up the stairs. _

What happened after that is a blur to me. I do have a vague memory of running into the bathroom and passing out. Though, I have no idea when that happened.

The only thing I am grateful for is the fact that all of the people from last night were not people who knew me. They were collage kids whom Derek had invited on a whim. Don't ask me why he did this because I have no idea myself. I'm still trying to get rid of this terrible migraine.

I put my hand to my head and noticed that my hair was a mess. It was all knotted and kinky like I hadn't showered in days. Slowly coming back into reality, I realize that I must have slept on this floor all night because my back is killing me!

Just as I was leaving the cold tile floor, the door opened and out came the one person I least wanted to see right now… Derek.

He was holding a very large trash bag in one hand and a broom stick in the other. I imagined that he was cleaning up from last night.

"Oh, there you are," He said as he walked into the bathroom completely. "For a second there, I thought you disappeared."

I was too embarrassed to even look at him at the moment. I mean, not that long ago I was jumping on the kitchen table and doing who knows what else.

"Is everyone gone?" I asked him hoarsely.

Derek nodded his head, "Yeah, I spent all morning digging everyone out of here." He explained.

All morning? How long was I asleep?

"Derek, what time is it!" I asked while he began to collect all of the garbage that was strewed out across the floor.

"It's four o'clock, why?" He grumbled.

"Four o'clock! I was sleeping for that long?"

"Yeah, while you were sleeping off your hangover I was busy cleaning up." He said, his voice laced with both anger and annoyance.

"Derek, I'm sorry." I said super quickly.

"Sorry for what? I was the one who threw this party in the first place."

Did he forget about what happened last night? I was talking about that stupid kiss!

"No, I mean-- I'm sorry about what I _did_ last night…"

Derek stopped what he was doing and looked at me with full attention, "Uh… Yeah, well… It's not like you meant it or anything… You were just drunk."

He didn't know… He didn't realize how much that kiss really did mean to me.

"Yeah, Derek… It meant nothing…" I lied and gave him a fake smile. My eyes were beginning to water but I tried to hold down the tears. I couldn't let him see me like this.

Derek looked around the bathroom before saying, "Yeah, well… Why don't you take a Advil and get cleaned up… You look like crap."

I rolled my eyes at him, it seemed like everything was back to normal again. Derek didn't know what I was feeling and I wanted to keep it like that.

Or at least… Try to keep it like that.

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**I'll let you guys decide if I should end it here or not...**


	2. Ch 2 Fearing the Future

**A/N Wow... I didn't know people would like it that much! Thank you for reviewing and encouraging me to continue. I really do want to continue, actually. I have tons of ideas for this story. **

**monkey-monkey-underpants07, thank you for giving me an awesome idea! I will defiantly use it for a future chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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After taking a very long shower and dressing into something that actually smelled decent, I left my bedroom and headed down the stairs. I took each step carefully, knowing that soon I would have to face Derek again… And I really didn't want to.

I kissed him…

I kissed him and I liked it…

I kissed my stepbrother and I enjoyed it…

I enjoyed kissing my stepsibling…

_Is it so wrong? Am I a bad person for liking him in that way?_ My head began to throb again as I left the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Sure enough, there he was, sitting at the island while gobbling down a bowl of cereal. I stood frozen for a second, not wanting to enter the kitchen completely. Finally, I pecked up the courage and walked inside.

Derek noticed a presence in the kitchen and looked away from his food, "Hey, Case…" He mumbled.

I stepped in front of the cabinet that stored all of the medicine and opened it, innocently pretending as if I didn't hear him. An awkward conversation was the last thing I needed now.

"Uh, Dad and Nora called while you were taking a shower," Derek said in a much louder tone.

Just hearing the names 'Dad and Nora' were enough to catch my attention.

I quickly reached for the Advil before asking, "Is everything alright?"

Derek put down his spoon and cleared his throat, "Well, other then Edwin falling into a nasty pond and Dad spraining a finger while trying to break dance… Everything seems fine."

I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of George attempting to dance. I really wish I were there to see that!

"So when will they be back?" I asked him.

"Tomorrow."

"They must be having a lot of fun in New York without us," I joked while getting a cup of water.

"Yeah, too bad we didn't join them." He said sarcastically.

"Hey, I wanted to go but I was sick at the time!" I said with wide eyes, "You on the other hand only obligated to go because you wanted to throw that stupid party."

Derek face fell and he looked down at his lap, "Yeah… That wasn't such a great idea." He admitted weakly.

_No, it was not a great idea! Look where it brought me!_

Derek left his seat and took the bowl away from the table. I watched as he dunks the murky mixture of cereal and milk down the drain and throws the bowl into the sink, where he then washes his hands.

"Derek… Can I ask you a question?" I asked after he was finished.

Derek raised his eyebrows at me and slowly said, "Sure…"

"You didn't invite anyone from our school, did you?" I asked him frighteningly.

His mouth turned into a frown and he started to fiddle with his fingers. I already knew what he was going to say next.

'Well, yeah…" He answered hesitantly, his eyes studying me as if I was some kind of valuable prize instead of a person.

I put my hands to my head and let out a loud gasp, I couldn't believe it! Kids from my school saw me dancing on the table! They saw me kiss Derek!

Oh my god, they saw me kissing my stepbrother!

I put my hand on the kitchen counter and tried to balance myself. It was just too humiliating, everyone from my school is going to gossip and turn big things into even bigger things. Imagine what they would exaggerate about the kiss.

Derek darted towards me, putting his arms on my shoulders to prevent me from passing out onto the cold floor, "Casey, breathe…" He said as he walked me into the living room and sat me down onto the couch. "It's not that big of a deal."

_Not that big of a deal! It's a huge deal!_

"Derek! I thought all those kids were from that collage!" I said in a frantic voice.

"Most of them were!" He said quickly. "Except for my hockey team…"

He invited the hockey team?! How could he? That must have been the biggest mistake he had ever made in his entire life. I could already see them making terrible jokes about me, in the locker room.

"So they saw me-- so they saw me _kissing_ you!" I shouted out so loud that the word 'kiss' echoed throughout the house, adding to the effect of my words.

"Yes. Alright! They saw you acting like a complete freak! They saw you dancing on the table, hugging random people, and yes, they did see you _kiss_ me!" Derek said all of this so quickly that I barely could understand him.

"No!" I cried and slowly brought my hands to my face. "This is all too much!" The tears finally escaped my eyes and cascaded down my cheeks. I was crying. I was crying because I knew what was going to happen next.

The hockey team is going to spread the news.

Soon Emily will find out, where she will then tell Sam.

Sam will be so upset that he won't ever speak to me again.

Emily will probably do the same.

Before I know it, my whole life will be a chaotic mess.

"Casey, calm down… It's will be fine." He said calmly, scooting further away from me so he didn't have to deal with my tears.

I put my hands down and sniffed loudly, "I can't believe this is happening!" I sobbed. "My whole life is ruined!"

Derek gave me an uncomfortable smile and reluctantly patted me on the back. His warm hand somehow had a soothing effect on me. My cries slowly faded and before I knew it, my sobs had subsided into tiny sniffles.

"Everyone is going to look at me differently…" I whispered. "I mean, I was drunk for goodness sakes."

"Look, everything will blow over in no time." He said firmly.

"How can you be so sure of that, _Venturi?"_ I asked him furiously.

"Well, _McDonald,"_ Derek started, "Your forgetting something. _I _am part of that Hockey team!"

"So?" I asked him.

"So, I can get them to keep that shit to themselves." He explained to me.

The frown on my face disappeared and was replaced with a large beaming smile, "You would really do that for me!" I asked him.

Derek shrugged his shoulders and slumped into the couch, "Sure, I can…" He said under his breath.

I was so happy that I couldn't help but throw my arms around him and tightly hug him.

"Casey! Caaan't… Breeathe!" Derek squirmed from under my grasp.

"Oh, sorry!" I pulled away, letting him finally breathe normally.

"Jeez, you could have crushed my ribs," Derek joked, putting his hands to his chest in a dramatic fashion.

I smiled and laughed at his comment. Like usually, Derek found a way to cheer me up. He always had a way of doing that when I really need it. Too bad he couldn't always be like this.

"Thank you, Derek," I said after a very long silence.

For a small second, correction-- a wonderfully small second, Derek looked at me as a person. He looked at me as if I wasn't just his annoying stepsister. It felt nice…

Until he threw a pillow at me.

"Der-ek!"

On the outside, it seemed like things between me and Derek were back to normal. He began to tease me as I began to insult him. Everything seemed normal again.

But on the inside…. Things were bad.

Very bad.

I still had strong feeling for him, very strong feeling. The kiss kept replaying in my mind like a malfunctioned tape.

The saddest part is that Derek doesn't even know! He's thinks what happened between us was only an accident.

If only he knew the truth…

If only I was brave enough to tell him.

That would never happen… I couldn't tell him, he only thought of me as a keener, a klutzilla and of course, his stepsister.

Hopefully I'll get over my sinful feelings and move on. Maybe I'll start dating again. I know I swore to myself that I wasn't going to get into any relationships after my break up with Max-- But whose to you can't date without getting into relationships? I'll just do what Derek does.

I haven't been to school yet, since my terrible incident happened yesterday on a Sunday, so I'll have to wait until tommorow to see if the hockey team has spread the news. Derek better stick to his promise.

On a lighter note, my family is finally coming home from New York tommorow. It will be a huge relief having Lizzie around again, and of course, my mother.

On, no…

I'm going to have to lie to her about what happened yesterday. I am absolutely against lying, but if it makes my predicament disappear even more, then it will be worth it.

_Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that, McDonald._

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**I know it was short, but I did it on purpose. I wanted you guys to get a feel of the setting and the time frame before I _really _delve into this story.**


	3. Ch 3 Not Really Casey

**A/N Sorry if for the seemingly long wait. I wanted to make sure I liked this chapter enough where I felt comfortable posting it. **

**Surprisingly, I have this story figured out pretty well-- That's right, there's actually going to be a plot! (With lots of Dasey, of course) **

**Oh, and I have a question. Is anyone at all OOC in this story?**

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"…. So we had to spend the night at a motel." Emily finished while taking a sip from her cup. "Can you believe that?"

I looked up from the science book I was reading and gave her a sympathetic frown. "Well, at least it was decent, right?" I replied.

Biting her lip and smiling embarrassingly, she timidly said, "No, it wasn't, actually."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, the outside of the motel looked great, but the inside…" Emily trailed off for a moment, causing me to raise my eyebrows at her curiously.

"Come on, Em. Spit it out." I said with a smile.

"It was a dump!" She whispered hoarsely. "The beds were lumpy and the bathroom was _horrendous_. We didn't even have a television!"

"Oh, Emily, I'm sorry. I had no idea it was that bad!" I apologized quickly.

The frown on her face disappeared and she laughed lightly. "It's okay, you didn't know."

We were in the school cafeteria eating lunch while discussing our weekend-- Well, she was but I wasn't. I conveniently would change the subject whenever she would ask.

I was in the middle of chewing my steak when she asked me _again._

"So… How was your weekend?" She asked me with a smirk. "And don't change the subject this time."

Great, what was I supposed to tell her? The truth? No way. Lie? I couldn't do that either. Maybe I could tell her but leave out the 'me getting drunk and kissing Derek' part. Yeah, I'll do that.

Putting down my fork and breathing roughly through my nose, I said, "Derek had a huge party."

Emily's eyes grew wide and she dropped the fork she was once holding. "A huge party!" Emily shrieked with delight, "and I missed it?!"

"Em!" I tried to calm her down. "You should be lucky you weren't there. It was way too out of control."

She rolled her eyes at my comment and scoffed. "Casey, you also think birthday parties are out of control."

"You don't understand." I began. "Look, Derek…" I stopped myself so I could lower my voice before continuing, "… Derek invited _college_ kids."

Emily's gasped and her hand shot up to her mouth almost instantly. "College kids? Why did he invite college kids?" She asked me in a voice that wasn't particularly quiet.

"How should I know?" I cried with arched eyebrows. "All I know is that he was being stupid!"

Emily went silent for a long moment before asking, "Did you get lucked in a bathroom this time?"

I couldn't help but laugh at her question. She was referring to the last time Derek threw a party without my knowledge.

"No, but I hid in there." I joked.

"Well, just as long as you didn't get drunk or kiss random people," Emily laughed.

I faked a smile and tried to laugh with her. I felt like I was digging myself into some kind of dark hole, one that I could never escape. I lied to my best friend and it bothered me like crazy. However, I had no other choice, if I wanted things to stay the same I would have to lie.

Nevertheless, something felt wrong. As I sat there laughing and with Emily, I didn't feel like myself. I felt like I was still drunk Casey. It was an immature and naïve version of the real me.

OoO

School had finally ended and I was more then ready to go home. I opened my locker and took out my purse, casually glances at my mirror. As I was fixing up my makeup, I saw two identifiable people from behind my shoulder. One of them, a blonde haired boy with freckles and piercing blue eyes, was holding a cell phone and laughing at it while the other one, a red headed boy with brown eyes, was staring at it with great pleasure.

To my dismay, the boy with blue eyes glanced over at me and chuckled.

_Why did he look at me? Why are they laughing?_

"Dude, I can't believe you got this…" The blonde said with a smirk.

"I know this should be on the Internet." The red head said cruelly.

I didn't understand. What were they looking at?

"She's looks hot," The blonde commented. "It's a shame she had to be so damn wasted, though."

"Tell me about it."

I was still very confused and curious… That was until my eyes spotted the neatly knitted writing on their jackets.

_**Sir John Thomas High Hockey Team**_

So, they were part of Derek's hockey team… Glad to know that. But what were they watching?

_Wait a minute, Casey. Add two and two together._

My mouth dropped open and my eyes went wide. I knew what they were looking at.

It was a video of me. And if you were paying any attention to the previous events of my life, you wouldn't need me to explain any further.

I was in the middle of closing my locker and walking off, when of the hockey boys called after me. I closed my eyes out of frustration and prepared myself for the worst confrontation of my life.

"Well, if it isn't little miss McDonald." The blonde said in a haunting voice.

"Turn around and show us that lovely face of yours." The red head added. I could almost feel him smirking evilly at me.

Biting my lip, I turned and saw them staring me with a gaze that deeply frightened me. The blonde smiled, making me feel sick to my stomach. He walked towards me and laid one rough finger on my shoulder while his eyes morbidly scanned my body up and down.

"Venturi told us we shouldn't bother you," He coolly explained, his hot breath tickling my face.

I didn't say anything; it didn't feel right. Instead, I let them encircle me in a corner.

"He acted like he could control us," The red head said. "He _though_t he could control us."

The blonde chuckled at his words. "Everyone else complied with his pitiful order… but us." He sneered.

They exchanged smirks and laughed heartedly, I took a step back and tried to protect myself, I was never so scared before in my life. The blonde noticed the look of terror on my face and raised his eyebrow.

"Oh, don't be afraid." The red head whispered. "We don't want to hurt you."

"You see, McDonald," The blonde began, taking one-step closer and displaying the phone up to my face. "We want to use you."

"Since your little act amused us greatly." The red head added.

Suddenly the blonde pressed the play button on his phone where was I then forced to watch the dreaded video of myself dancing on the table.

Three minutes later, after it was finally finished, the blonde clasped his phone shut and shoved it into his back pocket while the red head simply laughed at my saddened face.

"If you don't want this video plastered all over the Internet," The blonde began, "then I suggest you do as I say."

"As _I _say?" The red head questioned, clearly taken aback.

"Hey, don't question me."

"Fine."

The blonde sighed and continued talking to me. "We loved your behavior so much that _we _decided you should do it more often."

I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer; I had to speak up. "Excuse me? I'm never doing that again!" I shouted, my voice echoing throughout the empty hall.

The merely laughed at my attempt to protest and cornered me even more.

"Fine, you can say no," The red head started and looked at the blonde before continuing, "However, you'll leave us with no other choice but to… post this entertaining video." He laughed loudly in my face, making me wince at his terrible breath.

The anger in my eyes was replaced with defeat. I couldn't let them post that video. If they did, everyone in my school, including Sam and Emily, would know about my incident. If my friends found out so would my parents. The thought of having my mother know was way too much.

"What-- What do you want me to do… Exactly." I stuttered out.

They laughed in unison, before one of them said, "Every weekend…"

"We want you to come to parties with us."

"And get drunk."

There words shook me to the bone. They wanted me to relive that terrible night repeatedly. My eyes started to water and I began to shake. I wasn't expecting any of this.

"Oh, don't cry," the red head comforted me with fake sympathy.

"Yeah, it will be tons of fun." The blonde added. "Just like last time."

As they laughed in my face, I struggled to hold back my tears. How was I supposed to do this? How was I going to lie to my family and friends without being caught?

The saddest part is Derek keeping his promise. He respected me and now I had to disrespect him. Lying to his face didn't seem to thrill me. I would have to come home every night and tell him:

"_Oh, I was just at the library_."

How was I supposed to cover up my drunken demeanor, then? Maybe I would be home so late that everyone would be sleeping. Yeah, that would work.

"So what do you say?"

My answer was as unemotional as their faces, the deal was as wrong as their smiles, and the handshake between us was as wrong as what I was about to do next.

As I walked out of the school and headed down the street that leads to my home, I knew that was not me.

It was an immature and naïve version of the real me.

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**Reviews are welcomed (as always), and so is constructive criticism!**


	4. Ch 4 A Flashback & An Argument

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A/N I know, I am the worst updater ever. I probably had this story on hiatus for about a month! Ugh, shoot me now. On the bright side, I have this story figured out. I know how I want it to end and everything.

**Anyways, here is chapter four! : )**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek. **

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I hated lying to Derek. I told him everything was fine; that nobody bothered me… including the hockey team. He merely raised an eyebrow while I walked off numbly, leaving him rather confused.

Well, at least I thought he was confused. He didn't look to convinced by my lame story. I really don't blame him, though, since I was lying in the first place! But what other choice did I have? The last thing I wanted was for those two boys to go and post that terrible video of me.

I really need to relax and figure this all out….

I stepped inside my bedroom and slowly closed the door behind me while I sighed to myself. This isn't suppose to be happening like this. I'm not suppose to be hiding everything from everyone I love! I'm usually so mature and sensible; who the hell am I?

The real Casey wouldn't even say, 'hell'…. She would use the words, 'heck', or, 'world'.

You know what, I really need to calm down because if I don't, my homework will more than likely suffer from all this.

Turning on my heel, I walked towards my bed and gently sat on the side of it. My hands lamely rested on my lap as I tried desperately to relax. I tried to think about little things, like my favorite show. But who can do that when you have something as dreadful as I have planned this weekend.

Trying not to think at all this time, I gently fell backwards onto my bed. But as I laid there, I noticed something odd; was that bear I was smelling? I rolled over onto my stomach and inhaled my blankets hesitantly. Oh, they reeked with alcohol….

Just the smell of it brings back terrible memories…

-

-

-

"_Will you calm down, I am trying to throw a party here," Derek said annoyingly as he rummaged through a stack of cds'. He was sitting on the floor next to the fireplace while I stood before him._

"_Derek! You threw I party without my knowledge, how am I suppose to relax?!" I exclaimed, and even though he couldn't see me, I rolled my eyes at him. _

_He grumbled something under his breath before he said, "You can relax by shutting up." _

"_I am relaxed!" I shouted while flaring my arms out in all different directions. _

_Derek slowly left the floor and faced me. "I can see that," He responded sarcastically. "But seriously," he put his hands on my shoulder before he continued, "you need to leave." _

_Derek than whirled me around and gave me a rough push so that I stumbled away from him and into a group of people. Since I didn't know them and they obviously didn't know me, I ended up getting yelled at. One of them, a guy who looked to be around 21, laughed in my face and said, "Hey, watch where you're going, schoolgirl."_

_His breath smelled of alcohol and something else I couldn't distinguish. But I tried my best to keep my composure and not let him effect me. I couldn't let anyone effect me. I had to stay strong and level-headed. _

_Unfortunately, that all would be ruined in a matter of minutes. _

_-_

_-_

_-_

I tore my blankets away from my mattress and threw them to the floor; there was no way I was going to sleep on something that smelled like puke and bear.

when I was about to gather up all my blankets, I faintly heard the phone ringing from downstairs.

"I'll get it!" I called out to Derek. I could almost feel him rolling his eyes at me from in his own bedroom.

I quickly darted down the stairs and raced into the kitchen. The phone was still ringing so I was able to pick it up in time.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Hi, honey! It's mom!"

My face lit up and I smiled widely. Just the sound of her voice made me feel more relaxed. "Hi, mom! How are you? Are you having fun in New York?"

I could slightly hear Edwin laughing in the background and somebody else, probably George, scoffing at him.

"… Yeah, we all had a wonderful time… Everyone except George," Mom glumly replied.

"Oh, mom, what happened?"

I could hear Edwin laughing harder this time, earning him an even louder scoff.

"…Oh, you see, it's a long story but…" she stopped herself for a moment before continuing, "George and I decided to go out to this amazing night club while the kids were at a hotel, but things didn't turn out so smoothly."

"And?" I signaled for her to continue.

"When we arrived to the night club, George decided he wanted to impress me by break dancing," Mom finished flatly.

"He sprang his thumb, didn't he?" I asked her in a deadpanned voice.

"Derek told you?"

"Yeah…"

"I thought he did…" There was a long pause before she asked, "So, did Derek and you throw any parties while we were gone?"

I could tell from the tone in her voice that she was trying to be funny, but that question really made my heart sink. The phone slowly slid away from my ear and rested on my shoulder. Now I have to do the unintelligent thing and lie to her.

"Casey, are you still there?"

I put the phone back up to my ear and tried to act as though I wasn't about to say something that was a complete and total lie.

"No, mom, Derek didn't throw a party this time." I was smiling but my voice was as numb as ever. This was probably the biggest lie I had ever told her.

I could hear her laugh into the phone. "Well, okay… Anyways, we'll be back at around six or seven."

I cleared my throat and forced myself not to break down and cry. "I guess I'll see you than," I said with another fake smile.

"Buy, honey."

Once I heard the line go dead I couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears finally escaped my eyes and fell down my cheeks, my bottom lip trembled since I was still trying to calm down.

Stupid alcohol, stupid party, stupid me, stupid Derek--

"Hey, are you okay?"

I looked up to see Derek standing near the kitchen's sliding doors, his eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly quivering. I wiped the tears from my eyes quickly and tried my best to act as though nothing had ever happened.

"Were you crying?" Derek asked as he walked into the kitchen completely. His eyes never left mine as he passed by me slowly.

I put the phone down with a loud clank and turned around to face Derek, who was now digging into the fridge like a hungry animal.

"No, Derek, I was not crying," I said with a steady tone.

He pulled out a left over bowl of spaghetti and sat it down on the kitchen table before saying, "good, cause' you know I don't do tears."

Okay, now I couldn't hold it in any longer. "Derek! I had to lie to my mother, okay?" I walked up to him and pushed him back a little. "I had to lie to everyone, really! Do you know how hard that is for me?" Now I was fully crying, but that didn't stop me from continuing. "It's easy for you to lie; you have no conscious…. But I do! Okay, Derek!"

He didn't say anything, really; all he did was stare at me with the most stupidest expression on his face.

"Casey, look…" Derek finally began, He took a few steps backwards and resting his hands on the kitchen counter before he asked, "can't you just pretend like nothing had ever happened that night?"

Pretend like nothing had ever happened that night? Was he out of his mind?!

"It's little hard to do that when I have so many reminders thrown into my face!" I yelled at him. I took a few steps forward and stood next to him.

"Name one reminder," Derek said coolly while raising an eyebrow. "Because I don't see any," He added quickly.

Oh, _that_ was an easy one!

I pursed my lips together and inched my face closer to his; I wanted to make sure I had his full attention. "You," I bitterly replied.

His eyes went wide and he looked at me seriously. "Me? What do I have to do with this?"

"You kissed me!" I shouted at him.

"Excuse me, _princess_," He started while using an nickname I greatly despise, "but I believe you kissed me!" He finished furiously.

It was true; he didn't kiss me, I kissed him… I knew that very well, but I also knew something else.

"Yeah, well, you kissed me back!" I retorted while poking him in the rib cage.

He grabbed my finger and threw it down. The feeling of his hand on mine made me shiver slightly, but I bit my lip and ignored it.

"It was a reflex!" He hollered into my face, making me jump slightly.

"Oh, really? Because you seemed to be enjoying it from what I remember!"

Derek's expression turned more relaxed and his hand shut up to his mouth in mockery. "Casey, Casey, Casey, I didn't enjoy anything… Actually, I spent the whole night rinsing my mouth out with Listerine."

A sarcastic and evil smirk spread across my face. "Funny… I did the exact same thing this morning." I bitterly lied.

Suddenly all of the color washed away from his face and his mouth dropped open. I thought he was going to apologize by the way he was looking at me.

But of course, I was wrong.

"Nice to know you feel the same as I do about this." Derek spat out. The signature smirk spread across his face like clockwork which made my blood boil even more.

Derek walked past me, bumping his shoulder into mine as he left. I turned around slowly and watched him strut over to the stairs.

"Well, just so you know…." I began loudly.

Derek came to a sudden halt and turned on his heel while his hands rested on his hips with too much sureness. He looked at me lazily before saying, "What?"

I walked out of the kitchen so that I could be face to face with him. "I just wanted to let you know that I hate you just as much as you hate me," I finished. I looked serious, but I wasn't. I wasn't being serious one bit.

"Thanks." Derek said cynically. He sounded sarcastic but I wasn't sure. Why would he want to be sarcastic in the first place?

I shoved him forcefully out of my way before I darted up the stairs. He kept his eyes on me the whole entire time I was walking up the steps.

"You know! I'm not even ashamed that I got drunk Derek," I said loudly as I marched up the stairs. "I'm ashamed that I kissed you!" I finished saying this after I slammed my bedroom door shut.

This was probably one of the worst fights I had ever endured with Derek. Usually we would yell over stupid things like the remote or the bathroom, but not this time. This time we argued over are feeling for each other.

I plopped down onto my computer chair and spun myself around so that I could face my window. Maybe I was a little too harsh down there. Maybe I shouldn't have yelled at him like that. But I couldn't help it, I was stressed out and upset over everything. I had to take it out on someone. Derek just happened to be that person.

I could faintly hear Derek's footsteps pass my bedroom door and drift out of earshot. I second later his door slammed shut and his stereo turned on.

Derek always listens to heavy rock music when he's upset.

"This is perfect, Casey. You've managed to hurt Derek and your life." I said out loud to myself. "What's next?"

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	5. Ch 5 Forbidden Feelings

**A/N** _A big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! It's nice to know you guys are still with me. _

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Life With Derek._

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Derek decided to give me the silent treatment for the rest of night. As I prepared a small bowl of left over spaghetti for myself, I saw him quickly glance over at me from the other side of the kitchen. When he noticed me looking at him, he whipped his head in a different direction and walked off towards the dinning room table, where he than sat down and began eating his own bowl of spaghetti. My gaze slowly tore away from him and back to my own food, which was now warm and steamy from being in the microwave for a good minute in a half.

When I finally took a seat, I made sure that I sat on the other side of the table. Derek never looked away from his bowl, he just sat there while he lazily wrapped the slimy noodles around his fork. I didn't eat at all, really. I all I did was stare down at my food and realize how unappealing it looked to me.

After a while, the silence started to get to me, so I decided to say something. "Uh, Derek… I'm really so--"

His head shot up and he looked at me sharply. " Forget it Casey, it doesn't matter," He interrupted in a forced tone.

I clasped my hands together tightly and tried my best not to sound rude. "Derek," I began. His expression soften slightly before I decided to continue. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. It's my fault we're in this mess right now, not yours."

He rolled his eyes at me and scoffed. "Casey, can we please drop it," He said while forming a fist with his hand.

"No, Derek," I simply replied. "I want fix the mess that is between us." I pushed my bowl away from myself and settled my hands on the table.

Derek than looked at me seriously, making me feel even worst.

"Fix what mess?" He questioned, his temper was rising by the second. Why was he so upset?

"Derek, I--"

"We've been fighting like this since the day we first met each other," Derek explained while I silently looked at him. He then darted his eyes away from mine and ducked his head down. "What make this so much different…"

After a while, Derek held his head up and looked at me again. We just sat there staring at each other. It was sad, really. He looked so hurt, but I couldn't help him because, well…

I didn't know what was going on in his head.

I was about to open my mouth when I heard the front door being opened.

My eyes glided away from the sad face in front of me and settled on the door. A second later I saw my whole family scrambling out of it and running in all different directions. It was a very chaotic sight, if I do say so myself. It was so chaotic that it was a little bit surreal.

The way my family blended in with the look on Derek's face was really something. There was so much going on between him and I, yet nobody else could see it.

How could they not see it?

"Smerek!" Marti cried, pushing both Lizzie and Edwin out of her way. I couldn't help but smile at how excited she was to see her brother.

I looked at Derek and saw that he was now smiling widely at his little sister. He quickly abandoned his chair and spread his arms out. Marti embraced him and soon they were both hugging each other warmly.

Very tentatively, I left my own chair and walked towards the frazzled mess also known as my family. My mother was near the stairs while talking to George. Edwin and Lizzie were tiredly kicking off their shoes. And of course, Marti was still hugging Derek.

I just stood there for a little while until my mother finally noticed my nervous presence.

"Well," She began happily, "We're home!"

"Yeah, New York was awesome," Edwin commented while he passed by me. "Way better than boring old Canada."

"Hey!" George exclaimed theatrically. "Canada is great," He added weakly while crossing his arms.

Edwin, who was now walking up the stairs, waved his hand and scoffed. "Oh, you're just in a bad mood because you sprained your thumb while--"

He never did get to finish his sentence, because in a matter of seconds, George was running after him.

"Oh, George!" My mother called after him while putting her hands up in the air. "Remember what the doctor said? No physical activity until after your injury heals." She then ran after him, giving me a weary smile as she left.

Suddenly, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I slowly turned around to see Lizzie staring up at me. She flashed me a warm smile after a while and I gradually returned the gesture.

"Hey, Casey," Lizzie greeted me happily, "how's my favorite sister?"

"Hey!" I heard Marti cry from behind me.

Lizzie frowned and rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh, you know what I mean, Marti," She said, half-annoyed.

After a while, I decided to pull Lizzie into a tight hug. She enthusiastically hugged me back and smiled against my shoulder. "It's nice to have you back, Liz," I said softly.

"It's nice to be back, Casey," She responded, and hugged me even tighter.

Sometimes a hug can say more than a million fancy words. That's why when Lizzie finally let go of me, she gave me that look. It was a look that read, 'now tell what's really going on'.

I bit my bottom lip and frowned at her perfect observation skills. "What," I asked innocently.

She simply rested a hand on her hip and smirked. "You look terrible, that's what," She replied in a playful tone.

Oh, was I that bad of a liar? Couldn't I for once, cover up everything that I was feeling?

I guess not.

"Lizzie, I'm fine," I quickly reassured her. Maybe too quickly; I should have waited awhile before I said that.

"I don't know," She began tiredly, "you don't look fine to me."

"Well, I am fine," I said while folding my arms across my chest.

Lizzie was about to say something when the phone from in the kitchen began to ring violently.

"I'm sorry, just give me one minute, Liz." I walked into the kitchen and slowly picked up the phone that was lying on the counter near the sink. "Hello?" I casually said into it while pulling a strand of hair away from my eyes.

"Hey, beautiful."

_Oh, god. _

I glanced over my shoulder and sighed with relief; Lizzie was now walking up the stairs while Derek and Marti sat on the couch, discussing something I couldn't make out. Luckily no one was paying attention to me.

"Are you still there?"

I shifted the phone to the other side of my ear and rested a hand on my hip. "Why are you calling me?" I asked rudely.

"Are you alone?" The blond haired boy, who's name is actually Thane, asked me.

I didn't say anything until I walked into the laundry room; I wanted to make sure no one could hear me. "Yes," I finally answered him.

Thane laughed into the phone and said, "Good, now when do you want Jermyn and I to pick you up?"

"You promised you would leave me alone until Saturday." I said in a monotone voice.

"I know, but I want to know when we should pick you up." Thane said this as if he was doing me a gracious favor; it was like he didn't realize what he was doing was wrong.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I pleaded tiredly. I really didn't want to do this at all. "Look, I'll do your homework for a whole year! Yeah, how does that sound?"

"Don't be silly, I am a great student," Thane laughed. "I don't need any help with my homework."

"Okay, than I'll pay you to leave me alone!" I tried desperately. Maybe I could get through to him somehow. maybe deep down he had a conscious.

"Face it," He barked, "you can't get out of this, McDonald-- unless you want me to post that wonderful video--"

"No, please don--"

"Than do what I say," He interrupted me, his voice becoming less friendly. "Alright?"

I quickly wiped a tear away from my cheek and replied, "Alright…"

Thane laughed lightly and sighed into the phone. "Okay, now why don't we pick you up at around 8:00 and drop you off at around, say… 12:00?" He offered in a cool tone.

I thought for a long moment before I gave into him. "Fine."

"That's my girl…" Thane said warmly. "Now why don't you--"

"Who are you talking to?" I heard Derek ask from behind me.

"Oh, crap." Thane whispered hoarsely, and before I could say anything, the line went dead.

I listened that annoying beeping sound for probably two minutes before I finally took the phone away from my ear and turned it off.

"Hey, I asked you a question." Derek said after I settled the phone on top of the washing machine.

I whirled around and saw him staring at me intently. He raised an eyebrow while I merely sat up against the dryer.

"Why do you care?" I asked him, responding to what he said before.

"Casey, I saw you hide in here right after you picked up the phone," He calmly explained. "What are you hiding?"

I opened my mouth several times and smiled nervously.

God, could I be any more obvious?"

"Derek, I was talking to Emily," I lied after about three minutes of pure silence.

"Than why did you hide in here?" He asked me while raising his eyebrows.

"Look, I don't know Derek! Now will you please leave me alone?"

Suddenly his expression hardened and his jaw clenched shut. "Well, _excuse me _for caring, princess." He said through gritted teeth.

"Derek, you don--"

Derek merely signaled me to stop by putting his hand up. "Oh, save it." He said disgustingly.

I clasped my hands together and looked down at my feet. What in the world was I doing to this guy?

Derek took a step closer to me and sighed deeply. "You know, maybe-- just maybe, I do care, McDonald…"

And before I could say anything, he leaned his face close to mine, making me feel paralyzed from head to toe. We were so close… Why were we so close? He grabbed my arm and grasped it tightly. What was he trying to do to me? He slowly closed his eyes as I did the same. Oh, I think I could smell his cologne. I didn't know he even were cologne. After a while, he inched his face even closer to mine, so that we were only millimeters apart. I shivered when he laid his thumb on my cheek, making circling motions there…

And just when I thought he was going to kiss me, Derek pulled away.

"But... Hey, you told me that kiss meant _nothing _to you," He began while looking into my eyes,"Why would _this one_ be any different."

And with that, he walked away and headed out of the kitchen, leaving me to my guilty thoughts.

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